It is saddening when you see other people doing the hardest work while you could not even start it. They seem so confident. They are so sure of themselves while you feel totally withdrawn, you feel frustrated. Why? Because you tried it again and again but miserably failed. You wonder how they are so confident and self-assured when you cannot even set your mind properly. And at the end of the day, you give in. But did you raise the question “Why” instead of “How”? Did you not? Then ask yourself why are they confident? What are those things they possess that you don’t.
But there is a thing, Confidence is not something you have, it is something you create. It is not some by born qualities you possess. Rather you learn it day by day facing different challenges. At first you lose. You lose again. And again. Then you win. And when you do it again, you are confident.
Undoubtedly, confidence is a magic wand you need through your success. When you are confident enough; you have no self-doubt, you own all the positive things. You go on until you reach your destination. So yes, learning how to be confident is important in every part of life. Because you have to go through many challenges in every single step. But there is a misunderstanding that learning how to be confident is going to solve all your problems. This is a big NO. Everyone faces failure even after being confident enough. Everyone has their own bad day. Creating confidence is not about whether you are always sure of yourself or you know it all. It is about believing in yourself that you will do it even when you fail multiple times. It is about building yourself so strong that nothing can throw you down.
So, if you are aware of the principles of how to be confident, that will help you create confidence in yourself.
To truly gain confidence, you need to love yourself first. When you practice self-love, you’ll have confidence no matter what happens in life, because that confidence will come from within. Self-love is a thing that makes you the strongest among others. It is the best weapon you have to fight every difficulty in life. Yet many people are not aware of how to love themselves. And lack of self-love forms limiting beliefs about themselves and what they are capable of. And at the end of the day, that cost the absence of confidence. So, to learn how to create confidence, self-love is something you need to work on first. Be kind to yourself. Care for yourself. Find out new dimensions of your capabilities. The confident will come along with it.
CREATE A POSITIVE MINDSET
Replace all your negative thoughts with positive ones. How to do it? First of all, you need to change your focus. Instead of hammering yourself that something could go wrong, focus on all the ways it could go right. Let’s think about a presentation you have to do in your Uni. You worked hard getting it ready. You have prepared well. You are good to go. But it is enough to ruin it all if you have a negative mindset. If you are confused. So do not let your hard work go in vain. You have to be sure of yourself. Believe that you know what you are doing. Think about how you are going to nail your presentation, how pleased your faculties and your classmates will be hearing it. And this is how you change your focus and make you confident. Because, “Where focus goes, energy flows”
VISUALIZE YOURSELF AS YOU WANT TO BE
Make your brain believe that achieving your goal is possible, simply by visualizing it. Visualization can be an effective mental practice to become confident. You can visualize just anything. Whether you can climb up to the peak of Mount Everest or not, there is no trouble imagining that you can. If you imagine doing something in a certain way, you stimulate the same regions of the brain as you do when you actually perform the action. And if you do it on a daily basis, after a while you will see a huge difference in your core beliefs. There is a saying “Rome was not built in a day.” So keep working on it. The success will be yours.
DO THINGS THAT YOU FEAR MOST
“Do the things you fear most, and the death of fear is certain”
Here Mark Twain offered a notable piece of advice to work on. Fear is momentary whereas regret is forever. If you avoid the things you fear, you will never make progress. But it could be an important step to your career. The thing is that you have to face your fear to overcome it. There is no other way around. When fear keeping crept you away from doing things, confidence is something that is far above to reach. You do not like interviews because you are scared of facing people or being judged. And with that fear in mind, will you be able to be confident no matter how much effort you have put in it? The answer is never. At first you have to get ready to face the people and then confidence will come along. So, do not let fear engulf you. Do one thing that you fear at least for a week. Analyze the progress and then switch to another. Pick the one that seems to be calling out to you and the difficulties you’ve been having. And when you succeed, it will definitely boost up your confidence.
CHANGE YOUR CORE BELIEF
Core beliefs are the most solid beliefs about ourselves, the people around us and the world we live in. And with negative core beliefs, creating confidence in yourself is as tough as walking on the fire. So you have to change the beliefs you carry in yourself in order to be confident. To give you an idea, when you believe that you are no good in study and you are going to fail the exam no matter how much you try, you actually would not be able to do good. Why? Because you quit it then and there when you were thinking low of yourself. So at first throw away the self-doubts you have. Accumulate your thoughts and turn all the negative ones to positive. Because the core belief you need to work on will be hidden behind the negative thinking patterns. And lastly, break your thoughts down to beliefs. This is it. But if you still find it hard, try it again and again. You have to be honest with yourself. “It’s okay if I fail this time, I will do it again.” We are no prodigy. We fail, we learn, we win.
Confidence is something that cannot be created in a day or two. You should work on it slowly and properly. And when you accomplish it, you will be the strongest.
An Undergraduate Student